A mother's worst feeling

Today, I experienced the worst feeling a mother can ever experience. For about fifteen minutes this evening, I did not know where Andrew was and it was the longest fifteen minutes of my life. The kids and I were at my parents' house this evening eating dinner. I was talking with the adults while all the grandchildren were playing. As I went to check on the kids, I noticed that Andrew was not there. No one knew where he was, so I started looking around the house but could not find him. I started calling his name out loud, but there was no reply. Soon, everyone was up from the couch running around inside and outside looking for him. My parents have a huge front and back yard with two ponds on each side of the house. When I walked outside, I saw some geese in the pond and Andrew likes to see these geese whenever we visit. My first thought was, "Oh no, he's gone to see the geese and slipped into the water and drowned!" My heart started racing and I had this heavy feeling in my stomach.

I tried not to panic because I knew my mother and sister would do this for me! Pretty soon, we had searched everywhere and called his name several times and there was nothing. My sister dialed 911 thinking for sure he had fallen into the water and drowned and that we could not see him. We are probably a little dramatic, but he's only three years old! I just kept calling his name out loud over and over and over and praying inside that he was okay. My mom went back inside to search the house over again, when she spotted him hiding under the dining room table. When she yelled out loud that she found him, it was like a load of bricks had been lifted from my shoulders.

At first, I wanted to hug and kiss him and thank God he was okay. Then I felt so angry that he did not let anyone know where he was and that he was hiding from us. I had to remind myself that he's only three and probably did not understand the worry and fear his family went through looking for him. However, I sure did let him know that he better not ever do such a thing again! He learned that he can only hide from mommy when he's playing a game of hide n seek and that he should always come when I or a family member calls his name. It was a good learning lesson for him and myself.

He kept saying that he was scared that the police were going to come and lock him up in jail. I reassured him that they would not, but at least it made an impression to him that this is a serious matter. I'm just grateful to have my three boys tucked safely in their beds this night and think of all the parents out there that do not know where their children are and if they are safe. It must be an awful feeling to have to live with.